one of them.

The norms of my civilization.
The norms I follow and conform.
The norms that define my every action.
My every decision.
My every verdict.
The norms that define me.
Yes, I am one of those.
One of those billions.
No different.
I do everything they do.
I don’t wish to be different.
I don’t even know definition of different.
Different is just a fad.
I am no different.
I play along.
I abide the rules.
Sometimes I hear a scream.
Tugging at my heart strings.
But their voices drown it out.
Those voices decide right and wrong.
That scream dies out.
Returning sometime, weaker every time.
Chocked…suppressed….Dead…

Everyday I get up and do what they expect of me. I look into the mirror and I see what they want to see. The clothes I wear, my haircut, the way I look. I worry; I have a few extra pounds. They won’t like that. They defined good and bad. I accepted it. Without a doubt.

They taught me the rules. It wasn’t their fault. Someone had taught them. They engraved them in me. Brainwashed me. It isn’t their fault. They were brainwashed too. They decided what I eat, how I eat, what toys I play with, what I study, they even decided how much I should fare. They decided everything. They decided my life, pre-planned it. They taught me how to behave, what my ambitions should be, they taught me what should make me smile and what should hurt.

He says I am different. He says I’ll break free. His spirit is amusing, alluring even.
His thoughts are delusional. They defined it as imprudent and naïve. I agree. I am meant to. He doesn’t know. Different has been defined. Defined by them. There is no escape.

We are them. They are us. I am who I am. One of them. You are who they are. Imagine an anthill with billions of ants. Indistinguishable. I am one of them. They are the rest. No different.

Goa :)

The wind pulls me back.
My feet don’t feel solid surface anymore.
I gasp, my stomach churns.
This is what it feels like to fly.
The wind sings a lovely song,
In some exotic language I have never heard before.
The sun rays dance on the waves.
Like children in glee up to no good.
The sea wears a robe of sapphires and diamonds.
More gorgeous than man’s imagination.
The clouds sway lazily,
Like there is no care in the world.
I look around, the shore is so far away.
The world is so far away.
The freedom entices me.
I don’t want to be curbed again.
Let me fly always.I don’t want to come down again

Fly

They clipped my wings and tied me down,
And now you ask me to fly.
They plagued me and diseased me,
And now you ask me to survive.
You soothe my pain and balm my wounds,
You want to make me reliant.
You pretend to love me,
But I see the sweet lies.
You can be someone else’s God,
I don’t need one.
You can be someone else’s redeemer,
I can survive on my own.
Let me go, let me try,
I know my end but let me try.
But let me die trying,
I don’t want to be like the rest.
I don’t want to live dying.

Pain

The needles jab
The pain cramps.
There is no way out.
Stop looking around.
It will twist your heart.
And shred your soul.
You can try shouting.
But your throat will go sore.
The twinge shoots up your veins.
Poisoning your every vessel.
Sound of nails scratching the walls.
Will destroy your existence.
Break away, break free.
Try your best to succeed.
If you escape today.
You wont tomorrow.
So give up.
Stand still.
Let it take over today.
Let it destroy you tonight.

Silent Noise

Silent moon.
Silent night.
Silent words.
Silent eyes.
Mysteries unfold.
Life unwinds.
Nothing more beautiful.
Than sweet lies.
Promising voice.
Deceiving smile.
Dancing dreams.
Tears of Joy.
Make belief.
Capture the moment.
Silent night.
With silent light.

No Regrets

"Now do you believe me?” he asked.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“You forget soon”.
“Yes, out of choice”.
“Cmon, make a wild guess.” He said
“The higher power out to get me??”
“Yes, enjoy the darkness”? He asked.
“Yes, it’s beautiful”.
“Enjoy the loneliness?”
“Better still”.
Every now and then I see something in the darkness.
I try and spot something.
“Its just your mind deluding you”. He said.
“Mischievous isn’t it?” I smirked.
“Your pride intrigues me”.
“Really?”
“Do you regret?”
“Never”. I said.
“Then you deserve it”
“Yes, I know”.
“Suffer, u preferred to”.
“Let me in peace”.
He doesn’t speak anymore.
I know he never will.
Every now and then I look around.
But I know, my mind will give up soon.
Then I will accept my punishment.
Accept my destiny.

The Choice

His voice boomed in my ears. “Turn down the volume man”.
“Wake up” he said.
Emptiness. Nothing for miles. Soft noise like music. Not exactly. No tune.
“You slept enough” he said.
“Alright”. I wasn’t arguing with something I couldn’t see.
“Look around he said”.
More emptiness.
“You’ve always been alone”
I laughed deliriously.
I looked again, they were dancing. In the distance. They were so beautiful. In white. To the tuneless music. Coming closer.
How many pegs was it last night, five? Six?
I saw them come closer. I have never been alone.
Closer and closer. Her lipstick was too bright. She asked me join.
“Come dance with us”.
“How much do I pay?”
She chuckled. Her make up cracked. She went back to them.
“You‘ll always be alone” they said.
The music slowed.
They danced faster.
Faster.
Even faster.
I waited for the climax.
I watched them.
Maybe I can remember their moves.
Faster.
The wait continued.
“Do you give up yet?”
“I was never trying” I gave him a Mona Lisa.
“Do you want to?”
“No”
Bright light, very bright like the one in ghost whisperer. Those serials get it right sometimes.
“Eternal salvation?” I asked.
“U can choose” he said.
“I am not used to liberty”.
“Choose now”.
I turned back.
I choose darkness.