I hate you so much
It hurts me to be.
The cuts in my soul
Scream for mercy.
The white pain
when I see you.
The red heat
when I am close to you.
I hate you so much
I could kill you.
Your memories fool
My sore depths.
Your eyes burn
My empty nights.
I hate you so much
I can’t live without you.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I Tried
I tried to bang its head against the wall and demanded it to leave
I even cried and hollered, pleaded it to free me
I tried running away hoping it will never find me,
but it chased me everywhere, never letting me be
I tried burning it and leaving it to die,
but it just came back stronger, much more alive
I tried tying it up and locking it deep inside,
and it screamed even louder and wouldn't be quiet
I tried drowning it in middle of the ocean with a rock around its neck
and it got washed back on the shore laughing at my attempt
I tried stabbing it with a knife and leaving it to bleed
it came back to haunt me saying it would never leave
I looked it with burning hate and asked ' But Why? ',
and it said because 'DREAMS CAN NEVER DIE.'
Monday, February 7, 2011
How I got into ISB (part 4)
I so promise this will be the last part and I wont torture you anymore!! But let me remind you, its 4:45 and I have to leave this shit hole by 5pm!
PS: Last week of work :D yea OK so I ll start with the important part!
OK so I told you about all I read and studied for the interview but what helped me most were thse mock interviews conducted by my buddy - Mihir Kothari (Dude, he deserved a mention!) The mock sessions made me realize that all my answers are so fake! I needed to get more substance in the answers, not say what they expected but what I had to say, in my way! Not say what they wanted to hear but I wanted to tell them. It made me realize that I would never be happy if I got through this interview answering like a mechanical doll with the correct answers. I just had to be me, and my answers might not be perfect but there were my answers. They might be wrong but they were the truth.
Thankfully for me they did not ask me Why MBA and why ISB. I really had blunt answers for those :) The questions asked to me were more about work, my life and my beliefs. Well I made it, so I d like to believe I did well!
Anyways, I got to Hyderabad a day before and checked in at a nice plush Hotel ( 1. I am a spoilt brat 2. I wanted to get good sleep) That day I roamed around, checked out the campus and the Microsoft office (awesum!) thanks to one of my buddies who stays in Hyderabad. Basically I 'tried' real hard to not think about the interview. Anyways, anxiety got the best of me and I was awake till 4 am rerunning the interview some 5000 times in my head.
The next day, I got to ISB an hour earlier. They said they expect us to be in Business Formals and I was! Brand new, crisp, white and pink shirt, black coat and new trousers and even new shoes (OK so I went shopping 2 days ago). But I think its very important to dress well. The campus is amazing and a lovely peacock welcomed me in! It was a good feeling and now I can safely say I felt I belonged there :)
There were some 12 people there, all waiting for the 1 pm slot interview, one of them was with his wife and I felt desperately lonely then! Got to talk to a few people, everyone had some thing or the other to brag about - huge GMAT scores, fortune 500 companies, 10 years work-ex! I felt lonely then and really nervous! I left the room and gazed at the beautiful Academic Center with rolling lawns and greenery. There was something so still and calming about the entire place - like the center was one with nature. The entire campus signified a beautiful harmony of human progression and conservation of nature - sustainable growth. I took a deep breath and was ready to face the panel.
The entire batch was called upstairs and given a sheet of paper with a word on it. My word was 'apply' and all I could think of was my ISB application! So i wrote about that and trust me it was complete BS. Dude, I had the interview of a lifetime in 5 minutes and I had to write something on something! It was tough! If it was a handwriting analysis even my handwriting was shaky! Anyways I still haven't figured out what they did with that paper.
I was called in by this tall, lanky smily guy. I smiled back at him, thanked the guys who were shouting out Best of Luck and entered the room. The room was just a small cabin with a table and 4 chairs - a workstation with 4 chairs around it. There was a lady, a professor and this tall lanky guy. I shook hands with everyone and was asked to sit down. The initial 5 minutes were the Ice Breaker questions - First time in Hyderabad, how did you like it etc etc after which that got down to the real questions.
I was asked about the Project I lead, how did I get the opportunity to be a project lead at the beginning of my career and how did I tackle opposition. I was also asked about how did I resolve conflicts in the team and take decisions in the case of a deadlock. Since all these questions were all out of my personal experience, I found them easy to handle. I made sure the answers were short and to the point. The professor cross-questioned me in many cases to double check my answers.
Next I was asked about the Godrej Brand and how the rebranding process and affected my Company - Godrej Properties. My take on my brand change and whether it will help the future of my company. I was also asked about the industry I wish to be in and why. Again a few cross questions, the Professor even said that the industry I had chosen isn't the best choice for me but I stuck to my opinion.
The last question was if I needed to know anything about ISB. They took my essay and I left the room to begin the 3 week long wait for the results!
During the 3 weeks, I reran the interview million times in my head and gauged every possible outcome! Minutes passed like hours for the next 3 weeks, and I tried so hard to think about something else! These B-school interviews take a toll on emotional well-being man!
15th November, Monday was the D-Day. I remember going to office and staring at Pagalguy all day! I didn't want to leave my desk to have lunch! At 4 pm, the results started trickling in on Pagalguy. First the rejects came out, and everyone was posting a reject. It was scary!! After which the waitlists came out. The funny part was, not one acceptance mail had come out till 5pm! There were all sorts of theories on Pagalguy and the best one was that those who had got thier rejects or waitlists till 5 were accepted. At 4.55pm, my colleagues who forcibly tore me away from my screen and took me to the canteen for tea. I logged on to gmail from my phone (thank god for a good phone) and constantly was refreshing my email and then at 5pm - it was there - my Admission Offer Letter! It said Congratulations! You have been offered admission to the One Year Post Graduate Program in Management! I jumped and shouted out so loud that everyone left what they were doing to stare at me ( I also had to give everyone a treat later!) but eh it was all worth it! I had been admitted to the ISB Class of 2012 :D
I think 15th November was the best day of my life. I had waited so long for that one day and I just couldn't believe it happened :) It was my dad's birthday too so that night I had a double celebration.
Life changed after that email. I quit my job and stop crying about the future :) Have already made buddies with ISB classmates. Cheers to the new phase of my life!
PS: Last week of work :D yea OK so I ll start with the important part!
OK so I told you about all I read and studied for the interview but what helped me most were thse mock interviews conducted by my buddy - Mihir Kothari (Dude, he deserved a mention!) The mock sessions made me realize that all my answers are so fake! I needed to get more substance in the answers, not say what they expected but what I had to say, in my way! Not say what they wanted to hear but I wanted to tell them. It made me realize that I would never be happy if I got through this interview answering like a mechanical doll with the correct answers. I just had to be me, and my answers might not be perfect but there were my answers. They might be wrong but they were the truth.
Thankfully for me they did not ask me Why MBA and why ISB. I really had blunt answers for those :) The questions asked to me were more about work, my life and my beliefs. Well I made it, so I d like to believe I did well!
Anyways, I got to Hyderabad a day before and checked in at a nice plush Hotel ( 1. I am a spoilt brat 2. I wanted to get good sleep) That day I roamed around, checked out the campus and the Microsoft office (awesum!) thanks to one of my buddies who stays in Hyderabad. Basically I 'tried' real hard to not think about the interview. Anyways, anxiety got the best of me and I was awake till 4 am rerunning the interview some 5000 times in my head.
The next day, I got to ISB an hour earlier. They said they expect us to be in Business Formals and I was! Brand new, crisp, white and pink shirt, black coat and new trousers and even new shoes (OK so I went shopping 2 days ago). But I think its very important to dress well. The campus is amazing and a lovely peacock welcomed me in! It was a good feeling and now I can safely say I felt I belonged there :)
There were some 12 people there, all waiting for the 1 pm slot interview, one of them was with his wife and I felt desperately lonely then! Got to talk to a few people, everyone had some thing or the other to brag about - huge GMAT scores, fortune 500 companies, 10 years work-ex! I felt lonely then and really nervous! I left the room and gazed at the beautiful Academic Center with rolling lawns and greenery. There was something so still and calming about the entire place - like the center was one with nature. The entire campus signified a beautiful harmony of human progression and conservation of nature - sustainable growth. I took a deep breath and was ready to face the panel.
The entire batch was called upstairs and given a sheet of paper with a word on it. My word was 'apply' and all I could think of was my ISB application! So i wrote about that and trust me it was complete BS. Dude, I had the interview of a lifetime in 5 minutes and I had to write something on something! It was tough! If it was a handwriting analysis even my handwriting was shaky! Anyways I still haven't figured out what they did with that paper.
I was called in by this tall, lanky smily guy. I smiled back at him, thanked the guys who were shouting out Best of Luck and entered the room. The room was just a small cabin with a table and 4 chairs - a workstation with 4 chairs around it. There was a lady, a professor and this tall lanky guy. I shook hands with everyone and was asked to sit down. The initial 5 minutes were the Ice Breaker questions - First time in Hyderabad, how did you like it etc etc after which that got down to the real questions.
I was asked about the Project I lead, how did I get the opportunity to be a project lead at the beginning of my career and how did I tackle opposition. I was also asked about how did I resolve conflicts in the team and take decisions in the case of a deadlock. Since all these questions were all out of my personal experience, I found them easy to handle. I made sure the answers were short and to the point. The professor cross-questioned me in many cases to double check my answers.
Next I was asked about the Godrej Brand and how the rebranding process and affected my Company - Godrej Properties. My take on my brand change and whether it will help the future of my company. I was also asked about the industry I wish to be in and why. Again a few cross questions, the Professor even said that the industry I had chosen isn't the best choice for me but I stuck to my opinion.
The last question was if I needed to know anything about ISB. They took my essay and I left the room to begin the 3 week long wait for the results!
During the 3 weeks, I reran the interview million times in my head and gauged every possible outcome! Minutes passed like hours for the next 3 weeks, and I tried so hard to think about something else! These B-school interviews take a toll on emotional well-being man!
15th November, Monday was the D-Day. I remember going to office and staring at Pagalguy all day! I didn't want to leave my desk to have lunch! At 4 pm, the results started trickling in on Pagalguy. First the rejects came out, and everyone was posting a reject. It was scary!! After which the waitlists came out. The funny part was, not one acceptance mail had come out till 5pm! There were all sorts of theories on Pagalguy and the best one was that those who had got thier rejects or waitlists till 5 were accepted. At 4.55pm, my colleagues who forcibly tore me away from my screen and took me to the canteen for tea. I logged on to gmail from my phone (thank god for a good phone) and constantly was refreshing my email and then at 5pm - it was there - my Admission Offer Letter! It said Congratulations! You have been offered admission to the One Year Post Graduate Program in Management! I jumped and shouted out so loud that everyone left what they were doing to stare at me ( I also had to give everyone a treat later!) but eh it was all worth it! I had been admitted to the ISB Class of 2012 :D
I think 15th November was the best day of my life. I had waited so long for that one day and I just couldn't believe it happened :) It was my dad's birthday too so that night I had a double celebration.
Life changed after that email. I quit my job and stop crying about the future :) Have already made buddies with ISB classmates. Cheers to the new phase of my life!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
How I got into ISB (part 3)
Wow no one is reading this !! Blah, it never really mattered to me if any is really listening...I ll still keep screaming so here I am.
How I got into ISB - PART 3. Wow this is longer than the Rambo series but was it worth it? I have no clue man...will find out on April 9th!
OK, loads of stuff is happening and suddenly my life revolves around 3 letters I,S,B. Yea man. I already feel like a dork! PS: Its also the LAST TWO WEEKS AT WORK!! Yipppeeee..Ok more of that later!
So anyways, I did tell you about how to write the essays and the recos and all that gyaan which I am sure you knew sub consciously. This is the most important blog of them all I guess. This is about my INTERVIEW.
So after praying really hard and bribing God with all my worldly belongings, I finally got an ISB call. I swear I was freaking nervous that Friday because it was the last weekend for Mumbai calls (according to the calculations on Pagalguy). I kept refreshing my Gmail at work and then got hooked to my gmail on the phone. And then suddenly the mail was there from PGPAdmissions sitting pretty over my other mails - the INTERVIEW INVITATION MAIL. :)
After the initial jubilation, screaming in joy, calling every name on my phone book and taking leave for the entire week to prepare - I was suddenly zapped. I dint know where to begin! The truth was I knew zilch about Real Estate and even lesser about FMCG (according to my app that was my dream industry).
The first thing I did was search for blogs about interviews (which has inspired me to write these) and note down all the questions and words which come for essays. I basically figured that there are seven categories of questions:
1. Icebreaker questions -> how was your trip, what did you like about Hyd, how is Mumbai different from Hyd etc
2. Personal questions -> what is your strength, weakness, hobbies, what do you do in your free time, social and NGO activities
3. Present Career related -> which project did you handle, how could you do it better, where did you go wrong, what would you do differently, how did you deal with this situation etc, why MBA, how will it help you, about your company, about your industry
4. Future Goals related questions -> what industry, why are you attracted to this industry, general knowledge about the industry, where do you see yourself 5 years from now etc
5. ISB related -> why ISB, which companies, which clubs etc
6. General Awareness -> your stand on the Kashmir issue, Babri masjid issue etc
7. Guesstimate Questions -> How many spoons do you need in a restaurant, how many cars are parked in the Hyd airport today etc. I love these, they are fun and you can assume most data correctly.
How did I go about preparing, well for starters I read Economic Times, TOI (especially the editorials) and cut out the articles that matched my line of thinking for reference. Secondly, I went through the complete ISB website to read about all the activities, competitions, clubs, companies, placement trends etc. I also looked deep within myself to understand why have I chosen this path to look for genuine answers and wrote all these down.
I also tried writing two three one word essays but realized it was futile. They probably put pages of dictionary in front of a peacock and pick a word from the page the peacock chews up first! OK, bad joke but seriously - its futile.
Anyways guys, its 5 pm (almost) I need to leave this shit-hole (workplace) so guys I guess there is a part 4!! Till then adios amigos!
How I got into ISB - PART 3. Wow this is longer than the Rambo series but was it worth it? I have no clue man...will find out on April 9th!
OK, loads of stuff is happening and suddenly my life revolves around 3 letters I,S,B. Yea man. I already feel like a dork! PS: Its also the LAST TWO WEEKS AT WORK!! Yipppeeee..Ok more of that later!
So anyways, I did tell you about how to write the essays and the recos and all that gyaan which I am sure you knew sub consciously. This is the most important blog of them all I guess. This is about my INTERVIEW.
So after praying really hard and bribing God with all my worldly belongings, I finally got an ISB call. I swear I was freaking nervous that Friday because it was the last weekend for Mumbai calls (according to the calculations on Pagalguy). I kept refreshing my Gmail at work and then got hooked to my gmail on the phone. And then suddenly the mail was there from PGPAdmissions sitting pretty over my other mails - the INTERVIEW INVITATION MAIL. :)
After the initial jubilation, screaming in joy, calling every name on my phone book and taking leave for the entire week to prepare - I was suddenly zapped. I dint know where to begin! The truth was I knew zilch about Real Estate and even lesser about FMCG (according to my app that was my dream industry).
The first thing I did was search for blogs about interviews (which has inspired me to write these) and note down all the questions and words which come for essays. I basically figured that there are seven categories of questions:
1. Icebreaker questions -> how was your trip, what did you like about Hyd, how is Mumbai different from Hyd etc
2. Personal questions -> what is your strength, weakness, hobbies, what do you do in your free time, social and NGO activities
3. Present Career related -> which project did you handle, how could you do it better, where did you go wrong, what would you do differently, how did you deal with this situation etc, why MBA, how will it help you, about your company, about your industry
4. Future Goals related questions -> what industry, why are you attracted to this industry, general knowledge about the industry, where do you see yourself 5 years from now etc
5. ISB related -> why ISB, which companies, which clubs etc
6. General Awareness -> your stand on the Kashmir issue, Babri masjid issue etc
7. Guesstimate Questions -> How many spoons do you need in a restaurant, how many cars are parked in the Hyd airport today etc. I love these, they are fun and you can assume most data correctly.
How did I go about preparing, well for starters I read Economic Times, TOI (especially the editorials) and cut out the articles that matched my line of thinking for reference. Secondly, I went through the complete ISB website to read about all the activities, competitions, clubs, companies, placement trends etc. I also looked deep within myself to understand why have I chosen this path to look for genuine answers and wrote all these down.
I also tried writing two three one word essays but realized it was futile. They probably put pages of dictionary in front of a peacock and pick a word from the page the peacock chews up first! OK, bad joke but seriously - its futile.
Anyways guys, its 5 pm (almost) I need to leave this shit-hole (workplace) so guys I guess there is a part 4!! Till then adios amigos!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
How I made it to ISB (part 2)
Ohk so finally I was done with my Gmat and with a shiny score like 750, the ISB dream seemed a lil more achievable.
But it so wasn't meant to be! ISB just does not take people with less than 2 years work experience. OK so you read that if you are EXCEPTIONAL you might get a deferred admission. Well I guess I wasn't exceptional (no1 else was either). I was brutally rejected the first time I applied in round 2 for the Class of 2011 - without even an interview call! My feed back which came months later clearly said - sorry sweety try next year.
But the point is, I learnt a lot about ISB, the application from the first attempt. I can frankly say now that the first time - my essays were crappy, my recos even more crappy and I wouldn't have been able to handle the interview session.
But there was loads of things I learnt about ISB and how they judge candidates.
For starters, the essays need to scream out loud that I am a rockstar in every aspect - not just acads, not just sports, not just social work - in every hemisphere. Yep, I am A-W-E-S-U-M (Barney Stinson awesum) and if you dont take me, you will lose out on me. So if you really have done stuff, please put it down. Don't feel shy to flaunt your achievements, if you have them. But please don't make up any. They can see through you - they have been there and done that. They see thousands of desperate applicants who have worked for one year in an NGO just to put it down on paper. I am sure you (whoever you are) have passions and hobbies. Look within yourself to find out what makes you stand apart - don't fake it.
Recos are very important. As important (maybe more) than your essays. Give the guys giving your recos ample time to sit down and write the recos. Give it to people you trust, whom you have really worked with and who can really write about you. If the Higher Management can vouch for you - great! But dont get clouded by designation if they really don't have much to add to your application.
And lastly, don't apply on the very last date and please don't leave all the certificate scans etc till the end. They can cause loads of problems - its better to submit your app 2 days before and watch the others struggle to upload documents.
So plan out your application guys! Hopefully you wont need to apply twice :)
But it so wasn't meant to be! ISB just does not take people with less than 2 years work experience. OK so you read that if you are EXCEPTIONAL you might get a deferred admission. Well I guess I wasn't exceptional (no1 else was either). I was brutally rejected the first time I applied in round 2 for the Class of 2011 - without even an interview call! My feed back which came months later clearly said - sorry sweety try next year.
But the point is, I learnt a lot about ISB, the application from the first attempt. I can frankly say now that the first time - my essays were crappy, my recos even more crappy and I wouldn't have been able to handle the interview session.
But there was loads of things I learnt about ISB and how they judge candidates.
For starters, the essays need to scream out loud that I am a rockstar in every aspect - not just acads, not just sports, not just social work - in every hemisphere. Yep, I am A-W-E-S-U-M (Barney Stinson awesum) and if you dont take me, you will lose out on me. So if you really have done stuff, please put it down. Don't feel shy to flaunt your achievements, if you have them. But please don't make up any. They can see through you - they have been there and done that. They see thousands of desperate applicants who have worked for one year in an NGO just to put it down on paper. I am sure you (whoever you are) have passions and hobbies. Look within yourself to find out what makes you stand apart - don't fake it.
Recos are very important. As important (maybe more) than your essays. Give the guys giving your recos ample time to sit down and write the recos. Give it to people you trust, whom you have really worked with and who can really write about you. If the Higher Management can vouch for you - great! But dont get clouded by designation if they really don't have much to add to your application.
And lastly, don't apply on the very last date and please don't leave all the certificate scans etc till the end. They can cause loads of problems - its better to submit your app 2 days before and watch the others struggle to upload documents.
So plan out your application guys! Hopefully you wont need to apply twice :)
Friday, December 3, 2010
How I made it to ISB (part 1)
After trying really hard to get into a B-school (for 3 years), I finally have! ISB it is. Yea, nothing less and nothing more than the Indian School of Business.
Most of you are here looking to find out how did she make it through or find cheatcodes to make it through. Oh well, I ll write all of that (along with some gyaan, some bull shit and what I really feel about MBA)
First of all this is a LONG STORY and will be broken in parts. Part 1 is all about my GMAT.
Isn't it IRONIC to try and crack GMAT for colleges that sternly say their admissions are based on 'profile' and 'over-all' criteria? Anyways, even though I had a decent profile, good marks all my life - the truth is that I had to crack GMAT to get to my dream college.
Anyways, following is my Gmat experience. PS: I do not take tutions :P
Most of you are here looking to find out how did she make it through or find cheatcodes to make it through. Oh well, I ll write all of that (along with some gyaan, some bull shit and what I really feel about MBA)
First of all this is a LONG STORY and will be broken in parts. Part 1 is all about my GMAT.
Isn't it IRONIC to try and crack GMAT for colleges that sternly say their admissions are based on 'profile' and 'over-all' criteria? Anyways, even though I had a decent profile, good marks all my life - the truth is that I had to crack GMAT to get to my dream college.
Anyways, following is my Gmat experience. PS: I do not take tutions :P
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